I'm not a sinner
I never sinned
I've got a friend in Jesus
To enjoy this time waster from The Simpsons just visit the Character Files and select "F-H" then "Flanders, Rod". Click on "Bible Blaster" and you'll be converting heathens in no time. I tried to wing one to make him Unitarian, but no luck.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
You don't have to sell your body to the night
Before
Concept
After
I am not proud of everything I do for money.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Gabba gabba we accept you, we accept you one of us
I've caught myself doing this several times in the last couple weeks. I'll be in a conversation when those smarmy, irritating words come out of my mouth, "oh, I don't watch TV." It's bad enough that I don't eat at McDonalds or drink soda, but if you ever hear me say "oh, I don't drink/smoke/eat meat/snort crushed Sudafed/give blowjobs at the rest stop on I-90 anymore," please hit me on the back of the head with a gallon jug of Carlo Rossi and dump my body in the river. Thank you, I know I can trust you.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
We come from the land of the ice and snow
I've been trying for several days to come up with a rant on the news cycle subject of the past couple weeks, illegal immigration. But I just can't get myself worked up about it. It makes about as much sense as talking about illegal earthquakes or illegal tides. Migration is a force of nature, and passing laws or building walls or protesting one way or the other ain't going to change a thing.Alls I know is that if I had to choose between starvation or breaking the law, the latter don't stand a chance. And I reckon that the vast majority of people would do exactly the same. Fortunately, I haven't had to make that choice, and if you're reading this, then you probably haven't either. Not even fellow Swede, Michael Viking. He may not have wanted to work under the table to stay in Sweden, but it's not like returning to the US is comparable to returning to Guatemala to watch your children die of malnutrition.
Shit, there I go almost giving a fuck.
Don't get me wrong... (several years ago while camping in Wales, I got into a political discussion with an Irish/English factory worker who started off every diatribe with "Don't get me wrong," which I thought was hilarious at the time, but I now find myself saying more and more.)
Shit, there I go thinking you give a fuck.
...So don't get me wrong, I'm not pretending that immigration is no big deal. My own ancestors on my non-Swede side came to this country without any visas or passports or health screening, they didn't bother to learn the language or assimilate into the culture, and they took advantage of the locals' generosity and repaid them with disdain and violence. They were called Pilgrims, and they were only doing what every other culture has at one time done to someone else at some point in history. Compared to most ethnographic changes, this one is pretty damn painless. It's not like General Howard offered to mow Chief Joseph's lawn for less than minimum wage, or Crazy Horse was pissed that Custer was speaking English next to him on the bus. So quit your bitching about illegal aliens invading, it sounds pretty mild in comparison to what the Saxons did to the Britons or the Hebrews to the Canaanites or the British and Spanish did to, well, just about everyone.
Be that as it may, even if this is a sign that the empire is crumbling, it should come as no surprise. All empires eventually do so instead of clinging to a lost anglo-american utopia that never was, it might be wise to learn something from the newcomers, and learning a few things from them. You know, stuff like taking care of your elderly parents instead of expecting Social Security and Medicare to do it. And would it fucking kill you to learn another language or two? It's not like anyone is forcing you not to speak your own.
I guess I can get my self worked up, not so much about the phony issue of the day itself, but all the stupid posturing that goes with it. Fuck it. I'm probably going to end up crossing the border in the other direction one of these days.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I woke as day was dawning, when small birds sang and leaves were falling.
I took a solo road trip through the desert to see Jake and iSirkus this past weekend. I'm not exactly a big fan of the desert. I consider it something I have to put up with in order to drive to some very cool places. But for a few short weeks in the spring, the usually dusty brown withered hag of the Columbia Basin transforms into a lusty pale green broad.
Who'da thought basalt outcroppings could be so sexy?
I was having so much fun that I stopped several times on the way down river to take a couple side trips. I detoured through downtown Pasco to take a look at a new building a colleague had designed on Clover Island. Later I stopped for a quick break and ended up hiking to the top of Multnoma Falls, which was a real sociological lesson, as was the Tri-Cities detour.
On the return leg I avoided the Interstate for a couple hours, opting instead for the "WA?" bank, where I got to enjoy sights like this:
Oh yeah, there were choppers, socks, politics, and Peruvian Goddesses too. I really ought to do this shit more often, but it'll probably be at least another year.
Who'da thought basalt outcroppings could be so sexy?I was having so much fun that I stopped several times on the way down river to take a couple side trips. I detoured through downtown Pasco to take a look at a new building a colleague had designed on Clover Island. Later I stopped for a quick break and ended up hiking to the top of Multnoma Falls, which was a real sociological lesson, as was the Tri-Cities detour.
On the return leg I avoided the Interstate for a couple hours, opting instead for the "WA?" bank, where I got to enjoy sights like this:
Oh yeah, there were choppers, socks, politics, and Peruvian Goddesses too. I really ought to do this shit more often, but it'll probably be at least another year.
Friday, May 12, 2006
And he gave me a look that chills me to this day.
Bree wants to be a gay icon. That got me thinking, what does it take for a hetero guy to become a lesbian icon? I think that would be really cool. I racked my brain and then realized there's only one: Norm Abram.Before we use any power tools, let's take a moment to talk about shop safety. Be sure to read, understand, and follow all the safety rules that come with your power tools. Knowing how to use your power tools properly will greatly reduce the risk of personal injury. And remember this: there is no more important safety rule than to wear these — safety glasses.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
Jake mentioned pretending the defecit doesn't exist. It was tongue in cheek, of course, as most things he says (and I say) is, but I think he missed a significant point. All government spending is a tax.
Whether it's taken by force or borrowed, all money the government uses comes from the private economy. Secondly, the money we earn is backed by the "full faith and credit" of the government. Everytime the government borrows a dollar, it reduces it's available credit which causes a proportionate decrease in the value of all other dollars in circulation. Multiply that effect times 8 trillion, and that explains why inflation adjusted wages have fallen since the 1970s even though productivity is higher than ever. People talk about inflation like its some natural phenomenon like a flood or wildfire that needs to be "controlled", but it is very much a planned strategy. It is a tax on every paycheck us working folks earn and every penny we save. So there's no such thing as a tax "cut". It's really just a transfer. So maybe we should revise that old bumper sticker:
Whether it's taken by force or borrowed, all money the government uses comes from the private economy. Secondly, the money we earn is backed by the "full faith and credit" of the government. Everytime the government borrows a dollar, it reduces it's available credit which causes a proportionate decrease in the value of all other dollars in circulation. Multiply that effect times 8 trillion, and that explains why inflation adjusted wages have fallen since the 1970s even though productivity is higher than ever. People talk about inflation like its some natural phenomenon like a flood or wildfire that needs to be "controlled", but it is very much a planned strategy. It is a tax on every paycheck us working folks earn and every penny we save. So there's no such thing as a tax "cut". It's really just a transfer. So maybe we should revise that old bumper sticker:
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Saybabydoyawannalaydownbymyside, Saytherebabydoyawannalaydownwithme?
Remember Dirty Harry's .44 revolver? Actually it was only a .41, but who's counting? Now that's a phallic handgun if there ever was one. I fired a .44 a couple years ago out at the Fernan range before it was closed. That sonuvabitch sent a shiver down my spine that makes me smile just thinking about it. Fuck your gangsta bitchass 9mm, this hunk of iron could stop a charging moose by sight alone. This is America, dammnit, and while we can't build a TV or an efficient, reliable car, we do love our guns and we like 'em big.But if the .44 is the Ron Jeremy of revolvers, then the S&W Model 500 is John Holmes.
Let me state for the record that this is a stupid, useless gun. Far too big and cumbersome for personal protection, and complete overkill on paper targets. Like a muscle car or a monster truck, it is the embodiment of some juvenile macho fantasy, but it's just so fucking COOL! Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to plunk down more than a grand to own one, but if someone offered to let me try one out, I would not refuse.
Monday, May 08, 2006
I remember as it were a meal ago
Thursday, May 04, 2006
You know what Stuart? I like you. you're not like the other people here in the trailer park.
The Boy just typed "q2™ΩΩ2" on the iBook. I don't know how fuck he made the trademark symbol and the two omegas. OK, I see, alt-2 and alt-z.
Now that I've decided to stop watching TV this summer, the urge to turn it on is stronger than ever. Which is odd because I usually sit down in front of the boob tube a only couple times a week. I guess it's like trying not to look at some chick's ass at church, you only want to look all the more, but you see her dancing at a strip club and pretty soon you get bored.
Maybe I should start going to church. Nah, I'll just go to the titty bar again instead.
Now that I've decided to stop watching TV this summer, the urge to turn it on is stronger than ever. Which is odd because I usually sit down in front of the boob tube a only couple times a week. I guess it's like trying not to look at some chick's ass at church, you only want to look all the more, but you see her dancing at a strip club and pretty soon you get bored.
Maybe I should start going to church. Nah, I'll just go to the titty bar again instead. It's been the worst day since yesterday
Life is actually pretty good, it's just that the pirate radio station has been playing that Flogging Molly song a lot. But despite the fact that I'm doing what I've always wanted to do (despite a couple short detours into drama and metalworking), part of me just wants to chuck it all and hang out in the alley drinking 40s all day.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Look out honey 'cause I'm usin' technology
Here's the latest incarnation of the new entrance design I've been working on.
While my original approach was a simple Miesian box, most people suggested continuing the lines of the building, so I veered off on that tangent. The sign near the top wasn't my idea. Fucking comercialism! But sometimes, just sometimes, I get to do the fun shit that got me into this gig in the first place.
Now I have to go write up a request for proposal to cover the cost of an incompetant electrician's bond.
While my original approach was a simple Miesian box, most people suggested continuing the lines of the building, so I veered off on that tangent. The sign near the top wasn't my idea. Fucking comercialism! But sometimes, just sometimes, I get to do the fun shit that got me into this gig in the first place.
Now I have to go write up a request for proposal to cover the cost of an incompetant electrician's bond.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Why don't we just print more of this stuff?
So here's what I missed whilst on vacation from the news: The GOP is proposing a $100 "gas rebate". Tocqueville was right, "Democracy in America is doomed when the people learn to vote themselves money from the public trough."Because money magically appears from nowhere, right? Fucking hilarious! I really missed following this neverending comedy show.
The Little Man In My Head is being a right fucking twat today. He's playing the "Too Fat Polka":
Ooh, I don't want her, You can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
Ja! She's too fat for me
Ooh, I don't want her, You can have her
She's too fat for me
Sheee's toooo faaat fooor meee, Hey!
This is a very dangerous tune to catch yourself humming around the house with a pregnant woman.
And by the way, I wasn't online this weekend so I missed it by a day, but happy B-Day to B, hope 31 is better to you than 30 was, just make sure it's as entertaining for us.
